A Series Of Rather Ordinary Events Led Me To A Rather Unordinary Decision

i rode my bike today
from downtown to nob hill
a ride often taken

of course
it being summer
i slathered myself
in sun screen

upon returning
an hour later
i decided to make salsa

when a person makes salsa
that person should never touch
the eyes
luckily i have a strong memory

removing remnants of capsicum
from the flesh requires several
latherings of strong soap

in the bathtub i decided to use
liquid pine soap
expensive but effective

discovering the buildup of soap
around the lid i had to make a decision

simply push with all of my might
until soap spurted everywhere
or
use intuitiveness

remove the lid
and simply let it sit
in the water

If Something Is Not In My Nature But I Do It Anyway, Will It Become My Nature?

i don't yell, "fuck you"
to strangers
yet i continually
mentally
put myself in situations
where i would

it's not in my nature
but it is beginning to

Loganberries

it is in the way the sandwich makers
bear large scapegoats
raising them to be spry loganberries

that intimidates the barnacle
forcing him to purse
his thumpy lips

The Carnival Monkeys

the carnival monkeys
twirl their beets
while walking around
in octopus boots

a treat made of rats
for the trout shooting smack
who fishes for skates
in the scraggly water

the wench stunk of cake
and freebasing sponge
crack open her head
and pour out the slop

these slothful pets
occasionally boast
of the cackling noose
that pleads for their necks

Booze

an old man told me about booze
"it hurts my stomach
but feels nice on my brain
my memories are still shots
and it's hard to move my arms"

his best memories
were when he was drunk
his worst memories
were when he was sober

"i proposed to my wife
when we were drunk
she died when i was sober"

A Wooden Leg

stepping up on a curb
with my left leg
my wooden leg gives way
at the knee

it bashes into the corner
of the curb
but no pain is felt
so I unscrew it
and sand away
the splintered edges

OOPS!!

I have recently discovered that I have "lost" all of the writing that I have done....um.....ever?! Shucks. Why did I save all of that writing on my computer? What was I thinking? Were computers in the 90's that unreliable? Well I guess the answers to those questions and many more shall from thenceforth and forevermore be stored in a WIDE variety of locations....including Blogspot. So read on my friends............